My entire life has been a Black Lives Matter Poster. I’ve had to defend my blackness and worthiness since I set foot in school, the first setting where I didn’t have my parent’s protection. In first grade one of my classmates, a lighter tone Dominican claimed I was ugly because I was black, and she […]
My pregnancy was what most would consider perfect. Besides getting a lot of migraine headaches I rarely felt any morning sickness. I was full of energy all through my pregnancy, gained weight accordingly and Hannah looked great in all her ultrasounds.
I was enjoying my pregnancy very much. I shared the gender news with family and friends during an intimate gender reveal party.
After that first kick Hannah became more and more active. She moved so much through the day that I never had the need to track her kicks as the baby books say.That is until July 19th 2016. The day my nightmare began.
July 19th began as a typical day. I woke up as usual came to work and had a busy day that included an hour meeting. A meeting where my pregnancy was announced to the entire department. Later that day I remember not feeling much movement but I didn’t think much of it. That next morning I woke up not feeling my usual morning kicks. My husband told me I am sure she`s okay but call the doctor once you get to work ( I work at the hospital). Once at work I answered a few emails and then made the call. The Nurse told me to go up to labor and delivery to get checked.
I remember walking the hallway so nervous I felt like puking. Once at Labor and delivery I was directed to a small room. The tech got her Doppler and immediately began to look for a heartbeat.She tried and tried. I asked is everything okay she told me yes I am going to go get a better machine and came in with a doctor. He then tried with an Ultrasound machine. A few seconds later I heard the words that no expecting mother wants to hear ” I am so sorry but there is no heartbeat”
At that moment my world came to an end.
I screamed for my husband , I screamed so hard.
My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years now. We meet right after high school and have been together ever since. Johnny and I always talked about having a family.
After our wedding we were eager to start our family and began working on it right at our honeymoon:). After about 6 months of trying I found out I was pregnant on December 31st 2015. I took 3 pregnancy test and could not believe my eyes. I was so excited and nervous but mostly excited. I quickly scheduled an appointment with my gyn to make sure this was really happening. And there it was I had a tiny little thing living inside of me. I immediately share the news with my sister and my mother in law (I wanted to share the news with my husband on his birthday). But I couldn’t contain the excitement. Unable to hold it in until my husbands birthday which is January 14 I told him a few days after my gyn visit, with a nice little note that said “daddy I cant wait to meet you” and a picture of my very first ultrasound. Oh my God, his face was priceless. He just couldn’t believe his eyes.
And there began our pregnancy journey…
My name is Jennefer. I am the proud mommy to a beautiful little angel named Hannah Alexa. Hannah Alexa was born sleeping on July 22nd, 2016 at 33 weeks gestation. As one can imagine my life has changed completely since then. The last thing I could have imagine was that I would be creating a blog about infant loss, grief and pregnancy after loss.
Welcome you to my life and my journey.
My name is Jennefer. I am the proud mommy of a beautiful little angel named Hannah Alexa. Hannah Alexa was born sleeping on July 22nd, 2016 at 33 weeks gestation. As one can imagine my life has changed completely since then. The last thing I could have imagine was that I would be creating a blog about infant loss, grief and pregnancy after loss.
Welcome you to my life and my journey.